What we do in the Shadows : Bisgetti or Die
by Emeraude Grimm
Summary: You and your friends decide to visit New Zealand to have fun. But one night, you meet a strange woman named Jackie, who invite you inside an old house. Until then, you and your friends have no idea what is waiting for you. Will you survive? * In this story, you will have 4 choices to make. Each decision you will make, will have consequences, even those that seem right.
1. Chapter 1 : There no going back

Since you arrived in this strange house, you felt that something was wrong. Locked in the bathroom, you look in the mirror, despite the flickering lights that brought a dark atmosphere. For a few minutes, you hear that sinister voice that blows into your ears indescribable words. Suddenly, an icy wind settled in the room. Then someone knocked on the door. A voice resonated

''Excuse me, but you need to hurry up, dear ! '' It was Jackie's voice. Unlike your friends, you had been suspicious towards Jackie, who gave you the impression that she was working for a criminal organization. Back to you, Jackie added :

'' Are you coming, or what ?! '' She seems more determined than ever, which makes you think about what you should do. But, you have no time to think, since you hear the knocking at the door become more violent. Jackie's patience has reached her limits…

** What will you do ?**

**A**) Answer the door.

**B**) Do not answer.

**C**) Escape !

**D**) What will **YOU** do ? (Write in the comments)


	2. Chapter 1 : Answer the door (A)

Taking a deep breath, you head to the door and open it to find yourself in front of Jackie.

'' Ah, there you are ! '' she replied sharply. Judging by her face, you see that you had put her in a bad mood. '' What took you so long ? Please don't tell me you had a problem with your stomach ? '' ...

**** What will you answer****

****A****) Say nothing

****B****) Actually, yes ! I had a problem with my stomach ! I shit so hard that I blocked the toilet.

****C****) It's not your fucking business, Jackie !

* * *

****Answer (A)****

Because you didn't like Jackie and her cold behavior, you decide to say nothing. In return, you shrug your shoulders.

'' What, you don't know ? '' She asks unpleasantly. '' I really hope that because you don't say anything, that you are not constipated? It could really ruin the party at the table, you know ? Whatever the cause, just follow me. ''

Finally, you start to follow Jackie towards the long and sinister corridor. On the walls, you notice the portraits representing each of the owners of this house. You remember that moment when Jackie introduced you to these gentlemen and again, you can't help but think if you and your friends didn't fall into a trap.

Suddenly, you stop in front of the portrait of one of the men in this house: Deacon. For a split of a second, you feel like he's staring at you. Even in the painting, his powerful green eyes seem to hypnotize you, as if he wanted you to get closer to him.

But, you are interrupted by Jackie who places a hand on your shoulder.

'' You will soon meet him. If at least you could keep going, rather admire all the portraits. Come on, keep walking. '' She advises you. '' You know, I hope you won't stay quiet once you're at the table? I'm really expect that you make an effort to speak. We will ask you tons of questions ! My master.. Uh ! I mean, my friend Deacon, is very curious and will not hesitate a second to make you talk. ''

You arrive at a door, where you hear people talking and laughing. But before Jackie opens it, she stands in front of you and adds:

'' Here we are. But first, I'm going to give you a little advice: If my friend Deacon asks you if you want to have Bisgetti, say yes, alright ? ''

'' Why? '' You ask.

'' Well, you wouldn't want to spoil everything, would you? This is a very special dinner that my friends offered you ... you will see. '' Jackie winks at you, where you swear to see an evil smile on her face. Then she opens the door and you enter the room ...

* * *

****Answer (B)****

By staring at her, you can't help but have a stupid smile on your face. Her facial expression changes immediately, as you respond:

'' Actually, yes ! I had a problem with my stomach ! I shit so hard that I clog the toilet ! '' Jackie is disgusted. She crosses her arms and adds:

'' Well, that's wonderful ! Do you want to tell me more about your big dump ?! I can bring the others, if you want? Speaking of shit, we could tell stories of shit too! '' Despite her sarcasm, you notice that Jackie is no longer joking and that she is getting really serious. As you keep laughing at her, you hear Jackie say to herself:

'' I hope those 3 will not have any trouble to eat her/him. ''

You're trying to find out what she meant by that, but you're interrupted by Jackie who turns to you :

'' Despite your bullshit, I can't really blame you. Except, maybe for the toilet that needs to be repaired. A another advice, don't tell this to the owners of this house, you don't want to have a crappy night, do you ? ''

The tension between you and Jackie was heavy. However, nothing terrible had happened to you ... so far. To Jackie, you looks like to a bloody idiot. Totally !

'' I hope at least you washed your hands? '' She ask. ''Viago, the German guy, have OCD. If he finds out what you did in the bathroom, it'll be over for you. '' Immediately, you find yourself in front of the door which leads you to the dining room and ...

* * *

****Answer (C)****

Tired of her questions, you decide to answer :

'' It's not your fucking business, Jackie! ''

She immediately shakes her head, then raises her eyebrows. She add :

'' Well... I highly expected that you answer me something else ! I means, what your problem ? I invite you to this place and, this is how you thank me ?! I hope your attitude will changed, once at the table. Come on, follow me. '' She ordered, before whispering :

'' Fucking asshole ! ''

As you follow her down the hall, you notice that Jackie is walking abruptly. It may be because of the way you answer her, but you're not paying attention, since you had better things to do. Suddenly, you stop, since you notice at the end of the corridor a monstrous form which fixes you. His white eyes glow in the dark, and you can hear a beastly sound escaping outside from this mysterious creature.

His dark presence gives you goosebumps, so much that you start to breathe very hard. Your hands were shaking as you step back, where suddenly you fall on someone. Screaming in fright, you dare to turn around and notice that it's only Jackie who was there.

I mean, she's the last person you'd wouldn't like to be alone with, but seeing the circumstances, you're happy that it was Jackie and not the creature.

'' You such a lazy ass, you know ? '' She yelled.

By remaining vigilant, you check the places to see if the creature is still there. Well... the only creature you see for now is Jackie who watching you impatiently.

'' Don't worry, the creature is not hungry ... for now, '' she says. Even if it sounds like joke, you can't help but panic, while Jackie sneers slyly.

'' Now, are you coming or what. It's not polite to make others people waited. ''

* * *

****To be continued... ****

****I know you expect more, but I try to do my best. Now that I'm on vacation, I'm going to be very focused and inspired to write this story. It will take as long as it takes, since it is not the only story I write. I have several other stories that I need to finish. See you next time.****


	3. Chapter 1 (B) Don't answer

As Jackie orders you to get out of the bathroom, the lights start to flicker so abruptly, that they explode above you. Dive into the darkness, your heart pumps into your chest, while Jackie finally open the door.

Hidden in the dark, you see Jackie rushing inside the room, where you can feel her rage boiling inside of her.

"I know you're here," she replied, calmly. ''Show yourself, dear.''

Quietly, you get down on the floor and start crawling to the door. With the stealth of a feline, you don't hear the slightest sounds of your steps, which makes it difficult for Jackie to find you. Then suddenly, a hand grabs you by the shoulder.

"Ah, ah! I found you! '' But before she does anything to you, you kick her on her knee, before you run away from the bathroom.

''Hey ! Come back here, you little shit! '' Your first instinct was to jump through the window, which broke from the impact, where you fell on the grass. As soon as you got back on your feet, there was suddenly something that grab your leg and dragged you into the basement of the house. You try to cling to the lamppost, but you fail, since you end up landing rough to the floor, which you lose consciousness for a few seconds.

When you wake up, you see a tall creature wearing a black coat. He catch your throat. You look at his white eyes, not noticing that his pointy teeth were going to sink into your flesh.

Reacting hastily, you swing your foot and, you give a powerful kick in the vampire balls. He releases you by provoking a horribly beastly cry. Frozen by this howl, you observe him where he finally pulls himself together. Unfortunately, he points his finger at you and pronounces:

''**_**Maledictus eris. For est mori**_** ! ''

His words were from beyond the grave, cavernous and gives you goosebumps. When he was almost prepared to attack you, you hear the basement door open and a voice dart:

'' Petyr ? ''

'' _****Oh shit ****_! '' Petyr grumbled. In a quick move, he lifted you up with his powers and placed you in his coffin, closing you inside. There was a small opening that allowed you to see what was going on in front of you.

Viago, the man with the German accent, went down to the basement. But he wasn't alone, since there was also Deacon, Vladislav and a documentary crew.

''Hi, Petyr, '' began Viago, shaking nervously. "Sorry if ve bother you, but ve v'were wondering if you have seen a human, by any chance ? You know, probably running away from ze house. ''

"By the way, '' started Deacon. "Ve heard you screaming. What for ? '' As he growled, the creature uttered, while articulating:

'' **_**My balls... They're burning. Now... go away **_**.'' As Petyr tries to get everyone out of the basement, you feel an unpleasant sensation. When you look down, you see several centipedes climbing on your legs and sinking into your skin. Under your feet, maggots come out of the dirt. It so disgusting, that you avoid screaming. But it's hard!

You feel that they are inside of your asshole, while others are now found in your nostrils. You discover that the insects are eating your body !

While the film crew examined the basement, their attention turned to Deacon, who was scanning the surrounding area. With his scent, he sniffed the air like a dog and walked in front of Petyr's tomb.

"I smell a human, '' the vampire says as he turns around. '' Oh yes, there'z definitely someone inside.

" V'well," said Viago "I hope that'z not what I think, Petyr. It's really selfish if you keep a human just to yourself.

When the two vampires pushed the tomb, they were disgusted by what they saw.

"Holy shit ! ''' exclaims Deacon. ''Petyr, our human whom ve invited to dinner iz dead! What do you think my Bisgetti are for, mh ?'

''Oh, yuck,'' added Viago, who covers his nose. '' There are even centipedes who inside of his scrotum. How terrible it iz to die this way. Because of thiz, ve won't eat her/him. ''

After a moment of silence, Vladislav added:

"V'well, that's the life of a human, guys. Now.. let's eat the others at the table.

'' Requiescant in bullshits, human, '' recited the Nazi-vampire, before leaving with the others. Alone, Petyr turns to the corpse inside his tomb and pronounces:

''**_**Too old... for this shit. **_**

****Rest in peace ****


	4. Chapter 1 (C) Escape !

"Why don't you answer me ?! '' Yelled Jackie, knocking sharply at the door. ''If you don't open me on count of 3, I'm going to have to tear down the door !''

She must be joking. Suddenly you hear Jackie count and wonder how you're going to escape. Looking around, you discover that there are no windows.

While everything seems lost, you hear a voice rising somewhere.

''Psst ! You there. '' It came from the toilet.

'' What the..." You tell yourself, while you were now in front of the toilet.

''What ? Don't look at me like that ; I'm here to help you before this crazy women catches you. Come on, get in the toilet bowl. " For some curious reason, his voice reminds you of Taika Waititi.

As he opens his mouth, you hear Jackie smashed the door.

''What now ? '' He's asking you. ''If you think your life is a shithole, think of me ! Now come before I change my mind. ''

Finally, Jackie manages to slaughter the door with an axe. Meanwhile, a powerful force sucked you inside the toilet.

''Hey! Come back here! ''

You fell into a slide covered with feces and lots of other filth. The smell lifted your heart, which you ended up vomiting. With all these hideous things, you sailed into this foul-smelling tunnel where soon, you end up seeing a light. You land outside. The moonlight lit you up.

You start running. Despite the feces that cover your entire body, you manage to get away from the home.

''But what are you going to do with your friends? '' questioned the voice inside you. '' You can't leave them there, they're going to get killed! ''

" Fuck my life,'' you mumble, angrily. Already, you were covered with feces who started drying on your clothes, which makes you feel heavy. You know that abandoning your friends would probably be your dumbest decision in the world ! I mean, what kind of idiot would you be to let your friends die?

Immediately, you're thinking of a plan. But, how will you succeed?

Nervous, Jackie tries to stay calm. Seeing the bathroom in a bad condition, she knew there would be a lot of shit to tell to his master Deacon. Quietly, she left the room.

Walking down the hallway, Jackie stops because she heard a noise coming from outside. It looks like little pebbles hitting the window. Curious, she comes forward and suddenly...

By using all your strength, you manage to get through the window.

'' What the Hell ! '' Jackie exclaims, as pieces of glass are pushed into your skin. Face up against Jackie, you're trying to do something. But, you stop when Jackie points a taser at you.

"I'm telling you right now, you made the big mistake trying to run away.''

All of a sudden, she's rushing at you in an angry attempt to electrocute you. You try to dodge it, despite your pains.

The taser came at you, but you're holding Jackie by the wrist.

"Believe me, you won't get away with it so easily," Jackie raged. Then, you take a piece of shit from your clothes and you stuck into Jackie's mouth, who let you go.

As she chokes, you take the chance to punch her in the face. The blow had propelled her inside of the bathroom.

As soon she get up, you grab her by the collar and you beat her, before dragging her somewhere else.

Jackie tries to hit you, but you fight back by spitting in her face. Violently, you grab her head from behind and, you hit her against the toilet seat. Not just once, but several times !

With a madness cry, you were just increasing the smashing. Jackie's blood scraped the floor. Then, you dropped Jackie, unconscious. When you catch your breath, you turn around. But, you immediately regret it, since Jackie caught you.

She tries to get her taser back, but you tip her and her forehead hits the floor hard. By fighting again, your bodies were invaded only by shit and blood. Rage had mounted in you.

Soon after, you crawled to the ground, completely exhausted and devastated by the wounds. Miraculously, you get up, while Jackie was on her knees. She's giving you the middle finger.

As you prepare to flee, you feel something pierce your abdomen, where an acre taste invades your mouth. As you look down, you quickly realize that you have been impaled with a spear.

When you fall the floor, ready to give your last breath, you hear a voice screaming:

''Jackie ! V'what the Hell happened? It's all dirty ! " You feel the spear coming out of your abdomen and suddenly you come face to face with one of the masters of this house. It was Deacon!

The vampire opened his mouth widely, showing his two fangs where he brutally bites you off.

You died.

****That was the last chapter. For the next chapters, I would ask you to be patient, since I will be working on other projects that require a lot of concentration. Seen you soon. ****


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